Monday, August 15, 2011

ColdTusker BANNED from predicting scams

Mr. Cold Tusker,

I write to you to BAN you from predicting, forecasting or even dreaming of scams at entities under the control of the Govt of Kenya or Ministry of Energy.

Such predictions have a way of coming true. Furthermore, shedding light on such scams or potential scams makes us look exactly like what we are. We feel exposing these to the public shall open their eyes & make it difficult for us to continue such plans prior, during & post to the 2012 elections.

We have our friends (mboss, can I call them flunkies) in the Media who are capable of not informing Kenyans as & when needed.Of course, all actions are for the good of the few at the expense of the many.

This is a blogpost you posted in January 2009, please note as you predicted, such a scam did take place around June 2011 but we feel you should not predict or highlight such matters. Let our PR folks deal with it by:
  • Blaming the Kenya Shilling (note to self; Do not piss off CBK Guvnor)
  • Blaming the Arabs/Indians/Malaysians/Somalis
  • Blaming consumers
  • Finally our fail-proof method; blaming KenolKobil. No reason required.
To save taxpayer money, we have pre-printed letters blaming KenolKobil for any & all ills facing us. We found it easier & thanks to the Media & gullible Kenyans, it works very well.

So herewith we BAN you from predicting scams concerning any of the following entities:
Govt of Kenya
Ministry of Energy
Kenya Pipeline Company
National Oil Company of Kenya
Central Bank of Kenya

After all the transfer of wealth of only 10/- per Kenyan per month means a freaking lot to the some of us. Consider it our version of "AllKenyans4SomeKenyans".

Thank you for your cooperation on behalf of the politically helpful folks,

[Names Redacted]